But they go so quickly

I was 1
1 turned 2

And now I'm 20.

What changed, I look the same I did yesterday but not the same I did when I was 2.

Little by little
Step by small step
Ever closer

Is this life just one huge pattern....
A test....
A opportunity to grow....
But when you notice you cant change it all in 1 day...

Time
+
Patience

Me=I. Can't. Wait.

Time and patience 2 words I am scared of but like everyone says
"Sister Henry you can't say that!"
Say what
That I love my family
That I have bad days sometimes
That sometimes I just miss the feeling of sitting on a mountain and having no cares
That I'd rather push fast forward sometimes
I don't want to miss it just skip it sometimes you know? ...

Maybe you don't because apparently my thoughts are hard to relate to...

Awe the time when I could pick what I could do, yay freeeeeeedddddoommm.

"sister Henry you can't say that!"
Ugh fine

But I just did.
And if it is in my head why not let it out?

Sincere VS in-sincere
This is my head but oh I gotta keep it all inside locked up, maybe if I write it will help me...
Who am I talking with anyway?

My blog is sincere
My blog is my biggest cheerleader...
It never complains if I Babble* on... Just happy to see I'm still here still fighting on....
Sprints. How did I do the sprints in high school, was it my mental toughness or maybe something else

Fighting mental disease is like kickboxing a cloud. Is it even there... Oh but the cognitive distortions and positive thinking and just don't worry... Yeah I think that will get my to 💯 again.

Prayers, prayers, prayers. I will keep praying, and hoping that this isn't the feeling that I have been cursed with, #iwillfindacure qour. coure. what? And why do his KS look like Rs, we are teaching English, help them out, or at least reach out and help me

*new word my konthai companion just learned, you think she understands me more? 2 different people, 2 transfers โชคดี​นะ

Bye

im still here a year later... mighty change of heart?

I feel as though this week I have hit a change a turning point you could say. I am very motivated to just do my best. The best that Sister Henry can do. I have a desire to serve God and his son Jesus Christ because I love them. I will not get upset because of rejection, I will smile tell myself I got this with the saviors help and keep pushing forward. I will not be sad if I fall short of a goal, because I will re-evaluate and make a better plan for the next goal. I will not think negative destructive thoughts but instead will fill my thoughts with positivism and happy thoughts. I know that the Savior loves me. I know that the enabling power of His Atonement can pick us up and get us back on track. I am motivated to work hard and to give it my all each day. I will notice blessings from my Heavenly Father and also notice the help from his children, also the people I love beyond the veil also lifting me up helping me do my best. I know that I can do the best on my mission and also the best in this area. I will pray with faith and hope that he will consecrate our efforts for good. I will study for my investigators so I can help them develop a stronger testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I will turn to prayer when I feel discouraged and because Heavenly Father loves me he will lift me up. He truly knows me he loves me. I can be on his right hand each day as I serve and love his children. I can do this, I will do this, I am doing this.

Just think of all the people cheering me on
''It's time for a champion''
 the bruises
the tears
the scars
em you need those to get better to be better

just be the best you can, give it what you have

 in the end you'll miss it emz

I just got sad...

I thought about him, I told myself to not think about him, don't listen to our song, DON'T emily really dont.

but i did i thought about him, i thought about us, i thought about what we had, i listened to the song, the song that describes my heart better than any other

hearts content // Brandi Charlie

maybe you thought I hung the moon
maybe you thought we were johnny and june
maybe we thought it was just us two

maybe we spoke too soon

we fall in love and we don't fall out

here's to you and me
and in between we draw a line
but we can't see where its been
we scratch our heads and race against the hearts conten

maybe we hurt who we love the most
maybe its all we can stand
maybe we walk throught the world as ghosts
break my own heart before you can

heres to you and me

maybe we know how the story ends
maybe it's not even about us
we both retreat to opposing sands
and the love lives on without us

one thing i know for sure is love will find a way



I thought I was in love

I thought I had everything

but as anyone knows when you find something good is usually doesn't last, it will spoil.


there are better plans ahead for me, I KNOW IT!

i just gotta be sad for a "hot second" then i will get over it and everything will be okay, sometimes when you think you have it all the Lord reminds you he has better plans for you. I learned that, I know that he has great things in store for me, I gotta have faith, faith in him, and faith in the plan.

I will be okay I just need to get this off my chest.





fishing trip

What I actually learned from college

Well I'm no pro at going to college, but by being here for a few weeks I am slowly getting the hang of it.

Things I learned:

Number 1: Don't jump on the bandwagon.
This tip is all about the situation at hand. Day one I was sitting in a fireside and some of the people around me were laughing and taking away from the spirit. I wanted to laugh and joke with them because I wished to have friends. What I realized is that those people were being disrespectful and taking away from the spirit, and after all they weren't the types of people I wanted to be friends with anyways.

Number 2: Don't dread seeing people you know.
When I graduated high school I thought to myself "sweet now I never have to see any of these people again" Man was I wrong. I am at BYU Idaho in a different state and I've seen so many people from my hometown. I LOVE IT. Every time I see someone I know it makes me so happy. The best thing about it is here everyone is trying to meet new people. It's nice to be around people you don't have to explain yourself to.

Number 3: Date around
Man is it so easy to find a guy you really like and want to date. But let me draw some things out for you. Here is the patterns that arise at BYUI as a freshmen. The guys get off mish thinking "man with my mish completed I gotta find that special someone", the girls on the other hand straight outta high school thinking "dang I heard the dating life here awesome, oh I can't wait, I know my eternal companion is here, he's gotta be".  The guys find one girl and dang he wants to date her, some are sly about dating, you know not bringing up the whole marriage topic some are just sweet spirits......... But if the guy likes you he will low key date you, but with no title included. Because of the whole no title thing the girl will freak out a bit, but don't worry she'll get an answer soon enough. This will start to make you think "man maybe I am ready for marriage, this guy is so amazing, life is perfect". But dang right as you start thinking things are perfect is when the guy will wanna DTR aka define the relationship: the friend-zone edition... But during the DTR the guy will still mention he likes you and he also thinks it's best if you both date around. Now there don't fret, wait do fret because this makes NO SENSE. So what we have drawn from the DTR is that the guy is scared of commitment. I'm not sure but maybe there is something wrong with the girl. Maybe last night when she decided to eat one more oreo the guy decided he deserved someone better. But what if you were meant to be, what if you were soulmates?  I guess the little freshie will have to just wait and see. You're probably not going to get married during you're first semester so take a chill pill, so in conclusion even though its impossible, try your hardest not to stress out in the dating world.





eh

Tips on preparing for college

Well as you all know, college is flying up to me as it is to many of you out there in the world. Now I know that not everyone is as excited to go as I am, but hey be you and don't let anyone dull your passion and light. YOU IS YOU.

Here are my tips from what I have learned so far:

1. Save money. I know this is a no brainer, but I wish someone would have screamed this in my face the second I was old enough to get a job. You are going to need money to get all the cute decorations you will be dying to go get. Oh also for your Dorm and the usual cost for all your classes. I would say to save as early as you can, because then you will have extra spending money after the usual tuition, books, and apartment costs. Get one job, get two jobs, any way you can to save up money will bless your future, also guys love a girl who is a hard worker. 

2. Pray. Now this was a very essential part on choosing the right college for me. I made sure to ask my Heavenly father whether I was making the right choice, and in the end I knew Byu Idaho was the right pick for me. I really want you to know just how much reassurance the Lord can give to you when you go to him in prayer.

3. Go shopping. Now if you have saved enough, this is the fun part. You get to go pick up the things you will be needing as a new young adult. Since I love to shop I had been looking forward to this moment since my bother moved out 4 years ago. I made sure to stop by Ikea. Now listen here, Ikea is a magical place with great items on a college student budget. Go there and Target is also great to but a bit more pricey. For groceries I didn't really have too much space in our little car to get groceries so I made a list and saved it for later.

4. Prepare yourself. Okay lets just be honest, I Emily Henry am a self help addict. If I ever have a problem I look on google to find my answer, I live through books to help me understand myself better and others around me. Before I left to college the few weeks before I made a list of goals. I'm not exactly why but even since I was a young kid I have had a vision of a better me when I reach college and live by myself. 

It takes 21 days to make a goal into a habit so I decided to start the summer after graduation just to make sure I could reach my goals therefore turning them into habits before college.  Here was some of mine:

• Stop biting my nails
• run everyday
• be cautious of what you eat, no candy, soda, bread, dairy
• write in a journal everyday - this one was probably one of my favorites
• at least 5 water-bottles a day
• text someone a nice thought daily
• take a step back in situations where you may be angry ....aka road rage
• practice singing everyday
• clean for 15 minutes a day
• floss every night and morning, brush twice or more a day
• put lotion on every night after my nightly showers

5. Enjoy your time. This tip is so essential. Its your last seconds with your guy friends before they head on missions, your last time with some of your high-school friends, and on top of that your growing up and getting freedom from your family. I think the most important thing is to keep people close to you during this challenging time of transition. Make memories before you all head out your different ways, and I am in no way saying to just do 1 million cool photoshoots with your best friends to update and give some value to your insta page. Just go have fun and if you happen to get some cute pics in then great! What I'm trying to get at is it is important to have some wholesome fun in before this new experience in your life.

luvs Emily Henry

The final adieu to you.

leaves change, but people don't.

the grass is always greener on the other side

there is lots of fish in the sea, also there is a lot of stars in the sky

my blue socks radiate magic

A few months ago I sung the song "I will see you again"

the truth of the matter is.... I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN... EVER 

I would compare you to a skunk,

cute at first but then when and if you ever get close to me 

YOU STINK.

 we took a trip to Paris and honey, i dropped you off there.

P.S. you are a lesson learned and I've already MOVED ON to bigger and better things....

oh and also I'm not really into woodwork... or tools, I'd prefer crafts, or even better hidden beauty.

 I'm real. 

How I felt sometime in March

Do you even notice the cookies I left, do you even notice that it took me 12 minuites and 37 seconds just to get the mental ability to drop thoose of on your doorstep. And in thoose 12 minuites and 37 seconds  I was scared, scared of what could happen, what would happen, what was happening, and what happened. It's done.

I try to write poems about a boy meeting a girl and I end up with You. 

You are always the common ending to my wandering mind. Sensible I used to be sensible before those 12 minutes and 37 seconds. But I liked you I really did, so I decided I would start off with a nice batch of warm cookies laying on a doorstep of a boy who could break a heart as easy as erasing a mistake on piece of paper.

Is that all I was to you a mistake on a piece of paper? 

Sincerely P. J.


To Ethan. Is this what I'm supposed to feel?