if you knew me...

I wish I could take all my memories and make them into a movie. How would that be? Introducing the 309,567+ hour movie ft. the one and only Paislee Jane herself. Oh and of course there will be bloopers, bloopers are a must have, especially when I do around 456790 embarrassing things on a daily. You would get me, know why I am the way I am. Finally somebody understands. It would probably do a bad job in the box office, but that isn't the purpose. The movie would be for me, my friends, my family, and for the little girl who looks up to me in my neighborhood.

Everyone, every person on this planet has memories racking around inside all the time, like buddy the elf going through a revolving door. Around and Around and Around again. There they are.  Every time you look in that dusty mirror on your wall you see the scar on your forehead from when your brother hit you with a baseball. But you aren't wounded anymore. In fact you're stronger. And as you think about it longer you reminisce the memory of the adventures you've experienced. You experienced. That's the you you. The one reading this blog post. The one that talks inside your head every second of the day. You- have memories that nobody else has ever witnessed. What is your movie? I know mine I have my script already written in 5 year old journal that sits on my bedside table. There is my life all tied up with a bow. All that's left is a time machine and a production company, then the movie will be complete.

I made a movie about my life, also spoiler alert; it ends with me finally winning the challenging game of life, but wait I actually haven't written that chapter yet.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

I. like. you.

Wake up you know you like him

As she looks up she sees his sweet soft eyes looking down at her. He whispers in a low husky voice, and it is if just by hearing his voice he swept a chill through her entire body. He is dreamy. With his arm on the armrest their shoulders brush. He reaches to pull her hand into his. Slowly their fingers touch. She has butterflies through her stomach, he does too. They share the same loving glance. He pulls her in, and softly kis-.......

WAKE UP school starts in 20 minutes you foolish girl, ugh and Nelson actually marks tardy's.

You daydreamer you, that's just a wild dream that would never exist, it couldn't, like you've been told on numerous occasions; your too shy, too loud, too awkward. Now STOP, literally stop thinking about him, don't you even think about passing him in the hallway when he lightly touches your arm and you exchange your hellos. He didn't feel it, His heart didn't jump. And when you were blushing like crazy his heart was only on autopilot. Face the fact: he could never like you, and move on.

Oh but isn't moving on so hard? 

So, there the little wonder struck girl goes again playing the challenging game of life.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

A little welcome for your morning

Hello, Hi, Welcome.

Who am I you ask.

I am a product of experiences that overflow my life.
I am the little girl who dreamed about finding her prince charming.
I live in a place with magical views that are the candy of my sights.
I am the soft glow that shines on the clear film protecting my eyes from the harsh world.
I am gentle in my heart at times, I'm not ashamed to say that.
I am me, but I feel like people don't really know or understand who I am.
This is my chance to share with you who I am, raw, authentic, and uncut.

17 years. She would grow up and move from a small town to suburbia. This little smiling girl dressed up as Cinderella five years for Halloween. She was a princess looking for her prince. Her lovely Angelic mother made sure she had her white long sleeve shirt on under her dress so she wouldn't get chilly on the hay ride around the small town. Dreamy, children running though the leaves, crunch, another leave finally able to live in the moment. As the night progressed, the amount of candy in the purple plastic pumpkin made a hill then a large mountain. Her persistence was impeccable. She would carry that with her through the next years.

Moving vans and a sad face. The little family gathered their belongings and moved on, out of a town that was never meant to be. To the new city where she would remain till college, she didn't know how this new town, new life, would change her. The little messy haired girl followed her mom to a neighbors house, there she met a little brown haired blue eyed friend. Someone who she could play with, tell her secrets to, grow up with. 

Scared she entered the hallways of the big school. She followed her dreams, and was herself. It was hard. Friends would come and go like the days she lived and breathed. She wanted to be loved, to be accepted, so she went out and searched for acceptance. She had enough ambition to change Americas economy. Little did she know that the teacher with wrinkles and soft eyes would change her life. Every day this one woman inspired her. The life lessons the old teacher taught stayed with the young women as she further developed who she was. 

Now Graduate, go out into the real world. Attend college, eat ramen, meet your new boyfriend, pay your bills. BOOM this happened so fast like a tornado tearing though a quiet Kansas town.

Sadness, but why? Because when you sit there and listen to Taylor Swifts song "never grow up", you feel like it all went by too fast. Now the little girls life was good, she had wonderful friends, and a loving family, what else could you ask for? But as the young adult looks back, she feels somber. Despite the good there was bad. The days when her she felt friendless, no boy would ever like her,  she spent some nights in her bedroom shedding tears, as did many playing the challenging game of life. Who will win? Does anyone ever win? It's not easy, you will have days that push you down. But get back up, put your fist to the quiet sky and let them know who won.

Dear little wide eyed wonder struck girl, you can do hard things, you already have. 

Sincerely, Paislee Jane