Walking on a Tightrope

What would it be like to walk on a tightrope?

a distance from something and nothing.

falling is your biggest fear

but what if the ground is close and it would catch you?

what if the ground agreed on you falling 

and the ground knew it would have your back

that seems like a perfect relationship?

What would it be like to walk on a tightrope-

blindfolded.

you can't tell how high up you are

you wan't to see if the ground would be there for you

but what if you are too high and the ground is too low


I don't want to be on a tightrope

I don't want to be blindfolded

I want to be on the ground.

sometimes you gotta make the choice to stay on the tightrope or stay on the ground.



Pais can only stay on the tightrope for a little longer.
It's not a good place to sit and watch the sunsets fade and stars twinkle.



Sincerely, Paislee Jane

Red Hot

Not like a red hot tamale. More like a red hot face. I'm not blushing tho... quite the opposite

When I walk outside I see my shadow and instantly look at my hair. Sometimes I see it blowing loose and free. It looks majestic, sometimes long, sometimes short. As I keep walking it keeps changing. 

I sit in a bench in the park. People watch. Who are they, he, she, her, him? And where'd you get that dog? 

Someone asked if I was okay today. I lied. I'm angry. But I'm fine.



I dropped my phone in the sink and it sunk, but surprisingly I felt completely okay. It went down the drain. spiraling all the way to the sea, maybe dory will find it and use it as a heater. 

Can I live in the 50s. No phones just a cute boy on your doorstep. That wouldn't happen, I've never even said the words "i like you". I'm going to bed early, Hopefully I can forget today as I sleep.

Sincerely, a not so paislee Paislee Jane

Silver and Gold

It is bright yellow on the outside, and it's almost radiating with light, or at least the part that everyone sees.

Lots of people think it is clean, all put together, like a nice bookshelf with books that are perfectly placed. 

There are peonies on the outside blossoming, but not everyone can see them you have to have the right sunglasses on to see them.

When you walk in, the entry way is welcoming, a light blue hue covers the tall walls, there is a huge picture hanging on the wall that states personal affirmations. For those are key. As you walk through the entry towards the middle of the house you see light.

On the left you see a dark hallway, it is very skinny, and it can only fit one person. As you go down the hallway you see a few rooms. The rooms hold experiences. You don't really want to walk in because the walls are grey and it makes you feel sad. 

You leave the hallway with a better sense of mind. Without the darkness the light wouldn't be as bright. Looking at the open floor plan bright doors all around, as you go closer to the door on the right a smile spreads across your face. For this memory includes you. there are many more doors appearing all over the place and a spiral staircase leads to more and more doors. Some doors are less bright but there is always the option to turn the brightness up, otherwise called optimism.

Family photos cover the walls.

A whole room dedicated to friends. 

The room where all positive complements are kept.

At the top of the spiral staircase has silver chains on it with a gold lock. The door has a fogged glass window so you can barely see what's inside, there is white walls, naive was written and crossed out on the chalk board. This room is fragile. You can tell whoever has the key to this room has the key to her heart. When you reach in your pocket you find a key. It fits the lock perfectly. 

You are now inside my head. It won't make much sense to you but it does to me. This kid in my math class said that I had it all together, that's not true. I have bad days every other day. And when I do I make it a point to listen to "not my day" by Keith James  

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

B&W

I wore black and white today. Dull. I can't think about school when I would rather be anywhere else. I sit outside class and let the sun soak through my clothes. Let me go free. Sitting in class my mind isn't there. You could diagnose it as a bad case of senioritis. I can't sit in a classroom when the sun is out and the summer wind is blowing in. I want to move on. I've been a diligent student for the past 11 1/2 years but now I'm tired and thirst for freedom. Freedom to do what I want, freedom to sit in the sun and think, freedom to spend my time working on something I like for a change. Hopefully I can get off this rebel streak and be diligent again. Soon,  real soon. After the weekend I promise I will be all there. 

I just need a weekend

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

What happens in my head

I sit and stare at the wall in my room. Thinking as I hear the sound of the heater blowing onto my skin. My face is red hot. Are superstitions  even real? If I do something great with my lavender socks on, would it help me the next time if I wore them? My brain is smaller then yours. No it's the same size. Is it? 32 or 12 on the act... does how well you test really matter? Did Einstein take the act. Can you be good at something that's not math, English, reading, and science and still be successful? They will drop me off soon, no car, far from home, there with strangers. Go said the mom bird, try and try to find your wings because when you do we will part. Is senior year a repeat of ninth grade?  I think about that every day, trying to find similarities. I ran away once but didn't get out the front door. The boy I built a treehouse in my backyard with is gone. I miss him. I miss who I was then. But I like who I am now too. 

Scatterbrained.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

A song for you

Dear Summer love,

First day of summer came, Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, he growing on her, and she's just another toy. He's moving on while she's stuck like glue. He's so sure of himself, while she don't know what to do. 

Summer days grow short, there's a change in the weather. She's feeling a chill and it's cause there not together but for right now I'm happy that your happy. A flower for every time she thought he was the one for her.

She thinks every once in a while not as often anymore, there's a hint of a smile. The emotions are raw, but she's feeling alright. She doesn't need him for now, he's practically out of her sights.

 People are right but the timings all wrong. But she'll do it she'll get through it that's why she's writing him this.

Cause maybe in a year or two she'll  be thinking of him he'll be thinking of her.

But for now she is content liking the boy out of her reach, and why shouldn't she?

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

Bye home hello college

I've been afraid of the change

I built my life in your brick walls

But the walls can't hold me in anymore.

Sitting under the glowing decorated tree, twinkling lights, presents wrapped,

Happy.

Sitting under the blankets of my bed, door locked, mad face, 

Tantrum.

Sitting on the bench outside, birds chirping, sun shining, 

Peace.

Sitting in office for way too long, tired eyes, zero creativity coming to mind,

Blogspot

Sitting at the dinner table, homemade meal, loving parents,

Sunday.

Sitting at the kitchen counter at 1:37 am, falling asleep, pushing forward

Homework 

Children get older, I'm getting older too,

Packing my bags going somewhere new

Wish me luck

Bittersweet goodbye.

 Sincerely, Paislee Jane

ps. I won't forget to hang a picture on my new brick wall of us, for that is a memory I want to keep forever.