B&W

I wore black and white today. Dull. I can't think about school when I would rather be anywhere else. I sit outside class and let the sun soak through my clothes. Let me go free. Sitting in class my mind isn't there. You could diagnose it as a bad case of senioritis. I can't sit in a classroom when the sun is out and the summer wind is blowing in. I want to move on. I've been a diligent student for the past 11 1/2 years but now I'm tired and thirst for freedom. Freedom to do what I want, freedom to sit in the sun and think, freedom to spend my time working on something I like for a change. Hopefully I can get off this rebel streak and be diligent again. Soon,  real soon. After the weekend I promise I will be all there. 

I just need a weekend

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

What happens in my head

I sit and stare at the wall in my room. Thinking as I hear the sound of the heater blowing onto my skin. My face is red hot. Are superstitions  even real? If I do something great with my lavender socks on, would it help me the next time if I wore them? My brain is smaller then yours. No it's the same size. Is it? 32 or 12 on the act... does how well you test really matter? Did Einstein take the act. Can you be good at something that's not math, English, reading, and science and still be successful? They will drop me off soon, no car, far from home, there with strangers. Go said the mom bird, try and try to find your wings because when you do we will part. Is senior year a repeat of ninth grade?  I think about that every day, trying to find similarities. I ran away once but didn't get out the front door. The boy I built a treehouse in my backyard with is gone. I miss him. I miss who I was then. But I like who I am now too. 

Scatterbrained.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

A song for you

Dear Summer love,

First day of summer came, Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, he growing on her, and she's just another toy. He's moving on while she's stuck like glue. He's so sure of himself, while she don't know what to do. 

Summer days grow short, there's a change in the weather. She's feeling a chill and it's cause there not together but for right now I'm happy that your happy. A flower for every time she thought he was the one for her.

She thinks every once in a while not as often anymore, there's a hint of a smile. The emotions are raw, but she's feeling alright. She doesn't need him for now, he's practically out of her sights.

 People are right but the timings all wrong. But she'll do it she'll get through it that's why she's writing him this.

Cause maybe in a year or two she'll  be thinking of him he'll be thinking of her.

But for now she is content liking the boy out of her reach, and why shouldn't she?

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

Bye home hello college

I've been afraid of the change

I built my life in your brick walls

But the walls can't hold me in anymore.

Sitting under the glowing decorated tree, twinkling lights, presents wrapped,

Happy.

Sitting under the blankets of my bed, door locked, mad face, 

Tantrum.

Sitting on the bench outside, birds chirping, sun shining, 

Peace.

Sitting in office for way too long, tired eyes, zero creativity coming to mind,

Blogspot

Sitting at the dinner table, homemade meal, loving parents,

Sunday.

Sitting at the kitchen counter at 1:37 am, falling asleep, pushing forward

Homework 

Children get older, I'm getting older too,

Packing my bags going somewhere new

Wish me luck

Bittersweet goodbye.

 Sincerely, Paislee Jane

ps. I won't forget to hang a picture on my new brick wall of us, for that is a memory I want to keep forever.

Let's chat it up bout love

Love love love love love love love love love.......
Ugh
I don't really like thinking about me and love, I like to think of love through other people. I like making stories of other people who are in love, or imagining that I have it myself with a fictional person who is most definitely fictional... I have never been in love. There have been glimpses where I like someone but I have never been "in love" with them.

The letters written held feeling. Silent tears she realized she missed him.

Dear Lucy, I might not return to see your beautiful face again. You will never leave my mind. Sorry this letter is short, I just wanted to tell you I love you.
Your love, Richard 

Lucy realized that although he was away, he wasn't forgotten. She saw him in the little things, the old truck he always worked on, or the tulips he planted for her last summer. He was her everything. 

When she was younger she doubted the reality of love, and believed it to be a myth. How could she trust the power of love when she had never met her dad, Did he love her mom, Did he even love her? When she met Richard she finally understood what love is.

They met at the Stiner cafe. It was not love at first sight in fact they were as opposite as fire and ice. A blind date brought them together, and surprisingly from that day forward they were inseparable. Everyone in the town envied their genuine love. It was unexpected, and the draft took too many. They would write consistently, the small pile of letters that gathered in the little yellow basket gradually grew into thousands of words, and dozens of feelings. That was love.

The little wonder struck girl makes up a sappy story again about love. Somebody come in and cure her desire for love. Her heart is parched. 

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

if you knew me...

I wish I could take all my memories and make them into a movie. How would that be? Introducing the 309,567+ hour movie ft. the one and only Paislee Jane herself. Oh and of course there will be bloopers, bloopers are a must have, especially when I do around 456790 embarrassing things on a daily. You would get me, know why I am the way I am. Finally somebody understands. It would probably do a bad job in the box office, but that isn't the purpose. The movie would be for me, my friends, my family, and for the little girl who looks up to me in my neighborhood.

Everyone, every person on this planet has memories racking around inside all the time, like buddy the elf going through a revolving door. Around and Around and Around again. There they are.  Every time you look in that dusty mirror on your wall you see the scar on your forehead from when your brother hit you with a baseball. But you aren't wounded anymore. In fact you're stronger. And as you think about it longer you reminisce the memory of the adventures you've experienced. You experienced. That's the you you. The one reading this blog post. The one that talks inside your head every second of the day. You- have memories that nobody else has ever witnessed. What is your movie? I know mine I have my script already written in 5 year old journal that sits on my bedside table. There is my life all tied up with a bow. All that's left is a time machine and a production company, then the movie will be complete.

I made a movie about my life, also spoiler alert; it ends with me finally winning the challenging game of life, but wait I actually haven't written that chapter yet.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane

I. like. you.

Wake up you know you like him

As she looks up she sees his sweet soft eyes looking down at her. He whispers in a low husky voice, and it is if just by hearing his voice he swept a chill through her entire body. He is dreamy. With his arm on the armrest their shoulders brush. He reaches to pull her hand into his. Slowly their fingers touch. She has butterflies through her stomach, he does too. They share the same loving glance. He pulls her in, and softly kis-.......

WAKE UP school starts in 20 minutes you foolish girl, ugh and Nelson actually marks tardy's.

You daydreamer you, that's just a wild dream that would never exist, it couldn't, like you've been told on numerous occasions; your too shy, too loud, too awkward. Now STOP, literally stop thinking about him, don't you even think about passing him in the hallway when he lightly touches your arm and you exchange your hellos. He didn't feel it, His heart didn't jump. And when you were blushing like crazy his heart was only on autopilot. Face the fact: he could never like you, and move on.

Oh but isn't moving on so hard? 

So, there the little wonder struck girl goes again playing the challenging game of life.

Sincerely, Paislee Jane